Posted by: searchafrica | November 3, 2010

Militants paradise: James Bond meets match in John Athan

James Ibori



Goodluck Jonathan

The  onlyKolomentarian leader with the clout of a Ceaser, ex-presido Baba Iyabo once described him as the most dangerous man in Kolomental Republic, given his militant dispositions.

He held sway as governor of a Niger Delta State of the republic and in eight years of his reign, the state’s treasury had been successfully and bloodily looted.

Like the daring real life actor he turned out to be, he defied every plea to return his loot, which by now had been converted as a tool to reach the  Republic’s treasure base for a grand looting. But  Presido Baba Iyabo was wiser.  He cunningly aided and abetted him. But after the looted funds were collected from him to fund the campaign of another party man.  Baba Iyabo gave James Bond the biggest “boju boju”of all times.

Despite this. James Bond remained a power broker in the scheme of things in the cabinet of late ex-presido  Umoru. As we were made to believe, he even called the shots to the detriment of late Presido Umoru’s vice, John Athan.

It was even widely rumoured that James Bond;  while late Presido Umoru held sway had more say at the “Rock n’ Rule Vila”, the seat of the Kolomentarian government, than John Athan.

But while he pranced around like hateful Tom in Jerry’s backyard. Patient John Athan waited for a day to show James Bond that he was his senior in the game of militancy.

John Athan maintined his cool because of the respect he had for “my boss” as he proudly described his late oga.

Well ,the day eventually came, no thanks to agent death.

As things stand presently, nobody needs to tell Citizen James Bond that in the game of militancy, John Athan is his senior.

Let us make a comparison.  Both militants might hail from the Niger Delta region of Kolomental Republic, there is no arguing the obvious that John Athan is more ‘creekwise’ than James Bond.

In the part of Niger Delta where James Bond hails from, houses are built on solid ground while in John Athan’s setting, houses are built on water. Giving John Athan an edge, having grown up under harder circumstances than James Bond.

In John Athan’s Niger Delta, the only form of transportation is the canoe while James Bond probably did not know what it meant to ride on canoes.

Just take a look at John Athan’s eyes. Do not mind his mien and calm dispositions which are mere disguises. Do not also mind the fact that he is no orator. James Bond’s eyes can never compare to John Athan’s. Is it in redness of sternness?

Compare the complexion of their faces. Definitely you will agree with me that with a face like John Athan’s, an enemy hunting for him in the creeks would not differentiate it from the face of Jaja of Opobo’s statue.

If I go on describing John Athan’s superior militant features as compared to those of James Bond, the whole of this magazine might not contain this piece. I leave the rest to my good readers to use their wisdom in determining for themselves.

As I write this piece, James Bond is holed up in far away Dubai cell, cursing his wits for daring to confront John Athan, militancy for militancy.

As he scratches his head daily in trying to determine which way forward from his Dubai cell, his cronies, spread all over Kolomental Republic like land mines have gone to work trying to win John Athan’s favour on behalf of their trapped benefactor.

Now let us revisit how the whole war started.

Hardly had John Athan been sworn in as the substantive presido of Kolomental Republic as a result of the demise of presido Umoru than James Bond’s troubles started.

First, his case with the EFCC, which he had succeeded in beating into the cooler with his stolen loot re-surfaced like a recurring terrible nightmare.

These things happen you know. This is one way that succeeding presidos of Kolomental Republic used in reminded their enemies that peace had departed from them and in turn get them to surrender.

But trust James Bond. He was not to be harassed anyhow by a man who enjoyed a joint presidential ticket he sponsored with stolen money.

He reckoned that even if John Athan behaved as if he didn’t know this, late Umoru did acknowledge his role at ensuring both of them landed at the “Rock n’ Rule Villa”.

So when the EFCC called at his little village in the Niger Delta to invite him to come and answer some questions, he decided to engage militants, against the forces of a republic like Kolomental.

For days, James Bond seemed to have seceded from Kolomental Republic as he used his militants to barricade his little village thereby preventing the EFCC personnel from picking him up like a mere pigeon.

Unknown to all Kolomentarians, while James Bond’s militants barricaded his little village, he had sneaked out from his backyard, through which ever means, only God knows. The next we heard was that he had landed in Dubai.

Well, John Athan would not have this, especially when James Bond’s aim was to rubbish his militant antecedents.

Trust John Athan, he showed James Bond who calls the shots in Kolomental Republic, militancy or not and before anybody could say presto. The Oyibo people who seemed poised to co-operate with thieving James Bond, beat a fast retreat and decided everybody should ‘answer his papa name’.

This lesson stands to teach James Bond and other Kolomentarians like him, who fails to understand  that you do not toy with a man who has ,at his disposal, the whole of state power to play with.

Is James Bond counting his loses now. He will definitely tell us in 2016 or thereabout. I perceive the next time he talks about politics in this our Kolomental Republic. He would have repented and lost interest in the devilish politics of Kolomental Republic, which he helped to champion.



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